Describe your relationship with your parents.
My mom is dead. She died in May 2008 from complications from a stroke. She went into a coma the doctor said she would never come out of, so we took her off life support and then she died a week later. That's the short version. It was really a month long ordeal where she would start to get better and then get really bad, and then start to get better, and then get really bad until she finally died. I had nightmares for months that my mother was trying to kill me.
I still feel I have a relationship with my mom. I still see her in my dreams, but instead of trying to kill me, she is just my mom and she's usually wondering what the Hell I'm doing. She had a lot of health problems, so my dreams usually have us in her bed. Sometimes she's stroking my hair. Or I might be on her floor cleaning up various magazines and catalogs and matching up shoes.
I can't lie and say I had the best relationship ever with my mother. We fought. A lot. But, the last couple of years of her life, we had learned to get along and enjoy each other's company. I called her almost every day, usually on my drive from my house to pick up Corey from preschool, a 30 minute drive. She was on the phone with me when I went into preterm labor with Sammy. I was driving and having sharp pains and we were both so calm about it. What other way can you be about something like that?
When she was in the hospital, I spent every day there with her, even when she didn't know I was there. I brushed her hair, I washed her face, I read to her, I told her what crazy outfit Corey had chose to wear that day, I told her about Sammy's milestones. I told her that we are tough women from a long line of tough women and we have to fight.
Sammy goes to the preschool now and I really miss my mom on those drives. I miss her when I go to Sonic to get a drink. I miss her when the seasons change or when I see a pasture of horses, cows or goats. I miss her when I drive the car she gave me with it's burnt orange interior. I like that so many things remind me of her. It keeps her here and makes me feel I still have a relationship with her.
My father is a pretty neat guy. I'm afraid I didn't know that growing up, and I wish I had. He's funny, witty, full of duty, and hard working. He has quirks that make me extremely happy. Quirks do that to me. They make me happy because they prove how human, real, and unique a person is. My father is a lot like other fathers in all the cliche ways, but he also collects plastic utensils, has a cupboard of Snicker bars and Almond Joys, and way too many pens and clocks. He has a shirt that is white with blue flowers on it and is way too thin because he wore it way too long. I worry that he's tossed it away by now, but I would do anything to have that shirt because it's "Daddy." Hearing my dad's voice is like having a bowl of home-cooked chicken noodle soup. It's familiar, warm, chunky, satisfying, and just a little country. I like to hear him laugh because I know there's real amusement there, not just polite laughter.
I have a stepmother now and I guess I can't really talk about parental relationships unless I also talk about her. It felt strange realizing I had a stepmother and stepbrothers and stepsisters when I was in my thirties. I felt too old for such things. But, as stepmothers go, she's a great one. She loves my dad and makes him happy and she's made the house look great. She's kind and opinionated and can't sit still. She fits in perfectly, really. Her transition into the family has been smooth. Sometimes my loyalty to my mother will make me think some not so nice things. Mostly, it concerns the house and how traces of my mother are being erased. Or, how my stepmother drives my mom's old car. Holidays are another one. I always host Easter at my house for my family and Steve's family. Last year, my dad and stepmom hosted Easter at their house for my stepmom's family. My brother went over there instead of coming to my house. I tried not to let that get to me, but it hurt. Those kind of things go through my head and probably always will, because I love my mom and I love our traditions and things have changed. I do NOT like change. But, my relationship and feelings about my stepmom are positive and pleasant all around. I don't worry so much about my dad because of her.
So, in short, I get along with my parents, living, dead and step and I can only hope my kids feel the same way about me when they're both grown.
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