Rise and Shine, Zombie Mom, It's Another Day Like All the Others!

Describe a typical day in your current life. 


There's really no need for an alarm around here with two kids, five dogs and a cat. If the kids don't wake you up, the dogs wanting to go outside will. And if the dogs don't wake you up, the cat wanting to be fed will surely make you roll out of bed if only to throw yesterday's laundry at the whiny brat. I can count many a time that I have woken up with the sensation that someone was there, opened my eyes, and right by face is either a child's face or several dogs. It is not uncommon for a typical morning to start with the a startled, "Oh, dear god!"

Usually, my husband gets up before me. If I'm lucky and he closes the bedroom door, I will be able to avoid waking up to faces in mine. But the cat will still wail up and down the hall and the kids will be fighting, or Sammy, the youngest, will throw a fit because he can't get a game to work properly or Lady, the pit bull, has run off with his plastic sword.

My husband makes the coffee. I try to avoid making coffee if at all possible. I can do all the things my husband does and I still can't make the coffee right. I made it this morning and it sucks. Husband says he likes it, but I think he's just being nice. Half the time husband makes breakfast too, but, sometimes I just eat a bowl of shredded wheat (any brand) or a bowl of instant oatmeal. Here, lately, because of my gallbladder issues, my husband has taken to boiling eggs, taking out the yolks, cutting up the whites, adding sea salt, and serving the eggs with a bagel with Smart Balance spread and a bit of honey. This is a breakfast he created himself without prompting after researching my issues a bit. Extremely sweet, and actually not too bad!

If it's Tuesday or Thursday, when both kids are in school, we spend the morning and early afternoon either out running errands, or watching TV. We watch all kinds of things and The Man (as we like to think the animals think of him) usually controls what we view. It has always been this way in our 12 year marriage, and I don't mind. If I REALLY don't like something, I can tell him and he'll change it, or I'll go do something else so he can watch it. But, that doesn't happen that often. We watch horror movies, 30 Rock, Colbert Report, The Closer, Buffy, Haven, Dexter, Sons of Anarchy and Doctor Who. We just started Game of Thrones and a Midnight in Paris, but it's Spring Break for the kids, so it's slow going.

If it's Monday, Wednesday or Friday, we spend the morning/afternoon with My Little Pony or some super hero cartoon on for my four-year-old son. He loves My Little Pony and the Avengers is currently his favorite super hero cartoon. It is not uncommon for him to be Night Mare Moon, Captain America, Wonder Woman, The Hulk, and a puppy in the span of 15 minutes. Occasionally, he comes home from school and tells me he can't be Wonder Woman because Wonder Woman is a girl. I tell him that he can pretend to be whomever he wants. That's the great thing about pretending, you can be anything. One time, he was playing dragons with his sister and decided he wanted to be a boy dragon that just had an egg. Corey told him boy dragon's can't lay eggs and I told her to leave him alone. Who is she to limit his imagination? She agreed after I put it like that and they went on to play.

If my husband goes to work, he leaves around 1:30. So, M-W, I pick Corey up from school. Since you can't turn left into the school's parking lot and that's the most direct route to the school, I have to take a detour into a tiny "city" (1.8 square miles) that is notorious for it's ticket happy police officers. Plus, you have to drive right by the police station. I have only had one ticket in my driving life and I got it in this "city" (*cough* neighborhood). I usually get cut off a couple of times, usually by an aftercare shuttle. If I arrive too early (by 1-2 minutes), I will be asked to circle the block even if there's plenty of room in the parking lot. When I finally pull into the school, I must sit in a line, inching along ever so slowly, until I'm finally able to collect Corey. It is rare for me to honk at anyone, but I have gotten out of my car and yelled a couple of times at other parents. "I hope your kids don't grow up to be like you!" "I hope your kids take Driver's Ed and don't learn how to drive like you!" "Who the Hell do you think you are that you're so much more important than me!" I hang my head in shame for these outbursts, but sometimes enough is enough.

This is Kola. He is a wizard and occasionally an aviator.

I spend a lot of time on the computer. I play Sims 3, check facebook, research, write, and even play Webkinz. Corey got me my first Webkinz for my birthday. She thought she would give me this stuffed Koala and I would give her the code because she already had an account. Boy, was she surprised when I created my own account and named the koala Kola. She didn't mind, though, because now I could games with her online and it was fun. But, all too soon, I was playing more than the kids. And, I admit, I started collecting the darn things. I currently have 38. Fortunately, my daughter has more than me. So, it's not uncommon for me to spend an hour or so doing my dailies and tending my garden on Webkinz. Sad, I know, but they're just so cute.

Christof is a male badger fond of female clothes and mustaches.

I still play Webkinz with the kids. Corey's favorite thing for us to do is to go to the Runway Room so she can model her outfits and I can vote highly for them. But, there is a price to pay for having her mother go into public rooms with her on Webkinz:

After Corey gets home from school, she has a snack and we tackle homework. This often consists of her brother trying to steal her pencil, all her reasons why she can't do her homework, and me asking if she looked up whatever she's trying to get me to answer for her. By the time she's done with homework, it's dinner time and I don't cook. I hate cooking. When I'm hungry, I want to eat. I don't want to prepare something when I'm not hungry and I don't want to wait for something when I am hungry. This leads to a lot of microwaving. Microwaving is a bad habit. I know this. But it's just so darn convenient.

After dinner, the kids and I will play or watch some TV (Pokemon, My Little Pony, Avengers, X-Men and Harry Potter are all pretty common). Often, the kids fight as siblings do.

 Jennifer, a lady down the street with a border collie, often calls around 6 for our daily walk. It is just around the block. If Steve is home, Corey will come with me. If Steve isn't home, Corey and Sammy watch an episode of whatever show, and I take one of the dogs on a walk. One of my hobbies is dog training, so these walks are often half talking about whatever and half me teaching her dog psychology. When we first started, her dog was dog aggressive, intense, unaware of her owner, and didn't much care for petting. Now, her dog is playing with other dogs, comes over for pettings, and is way more relaxed. It's quite a joy to see.

Since we have 5 dogs (lab mix, pit bull, Australian Shepherd, min. schnauzer, and a cairn terrier), 1 cat, two rabbits, two guinea pigs, two snakes, and a fish aquarium, my day is also filled with animal antics, care and interaction.

I love working on the aquarium. It is mine and mine alone and feels like an ongoing science experiment. I've had it since July of 2000. I love going to the pet store for a water test and being asked if my aquarium is established. Established means the tank has had fish in it and has gone through the nitrogen cycle and built up a beneficial colony of bacteria. A nitrogen cycle generally takes a month, but it takes more than one to build up the right amount of bacteria so the tank is self-regulating. This means, when you add knew fish, the tanks is already an ideal environment. But, it also means your ammonia will spike a little or a lot, depending on how many fish you add. That's why they tell you to only get a few fish at a time. I feel very smug giving my answer. Most of the time, people are new to the hobby. I know this because I used to work in a pet store.

Currently, I have a beta named Inigo and five cory cats. Inigo actually killed off my other fish, not through an act of violence, but through Ick, a common fish tank disease. I nursed Inigo back to health in two little bowls next to my bed for two weeks. I had to change his water everyday in order to treat him with medication, that's why I had two bowls for him. Now, I can tap the water and Inigo swims wherever my finger is and then I feed him. He will also take food from my fingers.

The cat, Henry, is whiny, bossy, and comes when I call. He is completely my cat and everyone knows it, even the dogs. I will occasionally make the children tell him he's beautiful and wonderful. There is usually some banter between my husband and me over how glorious (me) or not glorious (husband) the cat is. I love these quips and they're a favorite part of my day.

The dogs, of course, require feeding, letting out, play and enrichment. This filters in throughout the day and often involves ball throwing, tail chasing, silly talk and comments such as, "Excuse your nose." My way of saying, quit sniffing and/or checking out whatever the dog has it's nose in at the moment. This is often the table or the drawer in the dresser right next to my side of the bed where I keep the stuff I like to do at night: nails, read, crossword puzzles, Sudoku, Nintendo DS, chocolate, and tiny dog treats for impromptu training sessions. This usually entails the Aussie balancing a dog treat on her nose.

Sammy goes to bed around 7:30. We read two books. Then he hides under the blanket, pretends to be somebody, and we have to find him by completing three tasks. Sometimes he assigns us characters such as Webkinz, My Little Ponies, or superheros. We usually go through a cave, have a party, watch a TV show, or collect apples/oranges/bananas or baby crocodiles.

After Sammy goes to bed, it's my favorite part of the day, my bedtime routine. I love organization, schedules and plans, but being a wife, mother, and pet owner does not allow for this bliss. I make up for it every night in my routine. I'm also an insomniac, so this helps my mind and body prepare for bed too. I let all the dogs out for their last pee until the husband gets home sometime after midnight. While they're outside, Corey feeds the cat and I pour myself a milk. I carry whatever it is I need for the night, into the bedroom. I change into my nightgown, go potty, let the dogs back in, check that all doors are locked, that all lights are off except the ones that I leave on for my husband, and head for the bedroom. Corey helps me straighten out the sheets and blankets for the night. I take my allergy medicine and any other pills I need to take, then she and I talk while either playing our Nintendos or reading. About 30 minutes before I plan to actually sleep, I take an Ambien. When it kicks in, Corey and I exchange hugs, kissies and goodnights, and she goes to bed and I fall asleep. Unless, of course, I have an Ambien episode. But that's a whole different post.