Love is a Sword and an Awkward Hug

Number 28 on the list is: What is your love language? According to Dr. Gary Chapman (the doctorate is in philosophy), there are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. If this was not on the list, I wouldn't be doing this, because Dr. Chapman is church pastor and if you recall from my 20 Random Things, I don't put much stock in the words of Christians. Still, the idea is valid enough so, here we go.

The site offers six assessments: wives, husbands, for parents of teenagers, for singles, for children, and languages of apology. I chose to do the wife assessment and the singles assessment because I am not just a wife. Scores are based on 30 questions. The highest you can receive for any language is 12. Each answer is worth one point, so when you add up all your points from each language, you will have 30 points.

Wife Assessment Results: I got 8 on Words of Affirmation, 8 on Quality Time, 0 on Receiving Gifts, 8 for Acts of Service, and 6 on Physical Touch. Even though I scored evenly on Words of Affirmation, Quality Time and Acts of Service, the assessment decided my first love language is Words of Affirmation. There's a flowery paragraph about what this means on the assessment page, but I can sum it up:  I like to be told I'm awesome and how I'm awesome.

Not to worry, I'm not going to forget about that egg next to Receiving Gifts. I like gifts as much as anyone. I have received some majorly cool things. When somebody gives me something that reflects my personality and proves the person has been paying attention to who I am, it's pretty darn sweet. But, I don't require gifts to feel love. However, I'm aware that this is the way some people show that they care, so I would like those people to know that I have an Amazon.com wishlist. And, if you're one of those people that think only big gifts will do, I would suggest giving me this:

I might change my mind about the whole receiving gifts thing.

Single Assessment Results: I got an 8 for Words of Affirmation, 9 for Quality Time, 4 for Receiving Gifts, 8 for Acts of Service, 1 Physical Touch. This time Quality Time won out. I will sum up the flowery paragraph to this: don't text when we're out to eat, watching a movie, or I'm pouring my heart out to you.

Why different results? Easy. When I took the first assessment, I was, of course, only considering my husband. When I took the Single Assessment, I was considering my friends current and in the future. You'll notice the 4 in Receiving Gifts (Inigo Montoya's sword can be purchased here). I believe this is in correlation to the lowered Physical Touch score. Anytime I had a choice between being touched or getting a gift, I chose the gift. It's one thing to be touched by my husband, it's another to be touched by other people. I don't like to be touched. I don't like to shake hands, hug, or have my shoulder squeezed. This all goes out the window when it comes to my husband and kids, but, with everybody else, it's usually best if you let me make the first move. Much like with the Gary Busey thing (oh dear god I need to stop using that link or I'll never sleep again!), those same friends hug me on a regular basis to make me squirm. Jerks.