I KNOW You Didn't Just Do That...

Did you think I forgot about the darling list? Pshaw.

Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

1. Whistling. It drives me crazy. The Scorpions' "Wind of Change" made me think my ears would bleed. Whistling is high pitched and done way to often in bookstores. I used to love whistling. I was a great whistler. My favorite tune to whistle was "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly." I whistled so much as a kid, in fact, that my grandmother informed me that, "Whistling maidens and crowing hens never come to a good end." While I think she meant to dissuade me from whistling, I thought then and now that that was the most awesome thing my grandmother had ever said.

2. Being told I'm wrong, especially if I'm not wrong, and I'm NEVER wrong. I think this is a pretty common pet peeve for know-it-alls. It's so bad, in fact, that I will forsake going about my normal routine and life in order to prove the person wrong is not only wrong but a complete idiot. I don't even have to know this person to straighten them out. This means I might have to skip going to the store and the kids will have to eat peanut butter sandwiches made out of the heels of the bread loaf. Or, I might be an hour late reading bedtime stories to my youngest. If somebody bothers me while I'm proving someone is wrong and an idiot online, I will say, "Not now. Mommy's working." Because it's a JOB to be this right about everything! My husband once sent me the following picture. It is so true of me and this pet peeve. 

3. Lying. I can sniff out a lie faster than you can say liar. It drives me nuts. It's THE rule when my daughter's friends come to my house. Sometimes I let people think they're getting away with lying to me. You never know when you might need to bring up later like when they say you're wrong and you're proving they're wrong and an idiot to boot. I store away all these little lies and smile, smile, smile. If I was going to be all psychological about this, I would say it stems from my mother. Anytime I proved my mother wrong (because I've been a know-it-all brat ALL my life) she would get in my face, scowl all scary like, and say, "Are you calling me a liar?" And it wasn't that she lying. It was just that she was wrong. But it was terrifying enough that I would say no and back off. Now that I'm all grown up, a badass (in my head), and even MORE of a know-it-all, I've taken a personal vendetta against lying...and people being wrong. 

4. Texting while spending quality time with me. Holy cow, this one drives me nuts. It makes me feel like I'm not important or interesting enough to warrant someone's full attention. I don't know which is worse, people that try to do it discretely like I'm not going to notice them messing with their phone, or people who do it right out in the open while I'm talking to them. It really drives me nuts if I'm telling a story and during the middle or even at the end of the story, when I'm expecting a response about the story, the person I'm with states that they just got a text from so-and-so and just had to hear what they texted. This pet peeve has evolved from going out with friends and having them answer ever call while we're eating dinner or waiting for a movie to start. I have texting turned off on my phone. If I am in line at the supermarket getting checked out and my phone rings, I will ignore the call until I'm out of the line. It's just rude and thoughtless. I will even apologize to the cashier if my phone rings while we are doing business. 

5. Having to pick up other people's used Kleenexes. This happens a lot when you're married, and it happens even more when you have kids. I don't even like leaving my dirty napkins for the bus boys to pick up at restaurants. Those things are germy, and the only one who should be handling them is the person who produced those germs. The two places that top my list of most disgusting place to have to throw other people's Kleenexes are in my bed and in my car. Ugh and grr! 

6. Destructive ignorance. This could be racism, sexism, politics, religious views, or even the way people view and treat animals. If your beliefs hurt someone else, whether that be physical, mental, emotional, or even indirectly, it tees me off. There is so much information out there now that is so easy to access (I know people who might not eat, but they have the internet by-god!) that ignorance just isn't a valid excuse anymore for the crap people do. I'm not a pacifist. I'm not afraid to punch someone. But I just don't think it's right to belittle someone because their views are different than yours. For instance, stating whether directly or indirectly that anybody that is not a Christian is not really an American or is one of the problems with America. Ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. Coming from a Christian background, I am quite aware of the idea of free will. Free will got Adam and Eve kicked out of Eden. It didn't matter that they believed in God. Believing in God didn't make them do good things or bad things. Neither did the serpent. Free will did. They decided whether to obey God or disobey God. Based on this reasoning, people that are not Christian can be good or bad based on free will. It has nothing to do with believing in whichever or whatever or nonewhatsoever God/god/goddess/Cthulu. In fact, free choice is such a strong trait in human beings, that no Christian actually knows who will go to Heaven. It's in the Bible. I, personally, don't believe in Heaven or Hell, but it doesn't matter because the principle is the same. God doesn't make us better people. We choose whether or not to be good. We obey or we don't obey. We may use something (faith, inspirational books, therapy, or prescription medications for instance) that might improve our chances to behave ourselves, but it is still in our hands and not God's. 

7. The sound a dog makes while licking its junk. I don't think anything more needs to be said about this. 

8. Songs that spell words. By the time I figure out what they spelled, the song is almost over. Music shouldn't be a S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G B-E-E. 

9. Being late. I used to be 15 minutes early for everything. I was never late. Then I got married, had kids, and met a bunch of English majors. English majors, for those who don't know, are notoriously late for EVERYTHING. Now, I feel like I'm late all the time, and it's often out of my control. Someone else is driving, or a kid has to go pee when we're trying to get out the door, or we're halfway to nowhere when it dawns on the driver they didn't print out directions. GPS is only good if you're going to a business or you happen to bring your address book. There are events and places I avoid because I know there's no possible way I'll be able to get there on time. It drives me that crazy. 

10. Tom Cruise. I hated Tom Cruise long before he jumped up and down on Oprah's couch. His crazy will never be as awesome as Charlie Sheen's crazy. He's arrogant, from his hair, to his smirk, to the pants he wears. He's been in two movies I liked: Legend and Tropic Thunder. I liked Legend, but I didn't like Tom Cruise in it. I loved his character in Tropic Thunder because I didn't know it was him until the end. Tom Cruise should be the running mate of Rick Perry, who I am pretty positive is the Antichrist. 

Look at those arrogant pants!