Gary the Gallbladder and the Animal Inside Me

Tomorrow is the eviction of Gary the gallbladder. I found this cute plush at iheartguts.com. In my mind, Gary is a lot angrier than this, but I can't resist the gall this little guy has.

I bought some dresses today to wear after my surgery around the house. For those who don't know me, I HATE dresses. I'm also currently sporting Sasquatch legs, so I guess I better shave my legs before tomorrow. Sigh.

But let's get back to the list!

If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

When I was in my elementary school days, I would have said a wolf because I loved wolves at that time. I still do, but not as radically. But, when I was in junior high, a science teacher told a story about the sponge and how they would get in fishermen's nets and the fishermen would cut them up and toss them back into the sea hoping to be rid of them, but this of course just made more sponges. I liked that sponges didn't feel anything and were a nuisance. So, the sponge became my answer. Of course now, sponges are harvested like crazy for bath time fun. And there's Sponge Bob Square Pants. I don't want to be Sponge Bob Square Pants. So, sponges are out.

I considered the crocodile. I love gharials. They're my favorite animal at the Fort Worth Zoo. Crocodiles and alligators are awesome mothers and ferocious animals. I'm tough, but I love my kids. Gharials eat mostly fish, and I love fish. But, I don't care much for living in the water. I don't swim well. So, I don't think I really want to be a gharial or crocodilian.

Gharial babies are always attentive. My kids aren't. Can't be a Gharial mom.

Jellyfish are the best of both worlds. They're dangerous like crocodiles, can't feel pain like sponges, they're one of my favorite animals, and they're just so beautiful.

My friend, Angela, bought this for me at the aquarium in Chicago!

But, I'm also creative, logical, smart, and a MAMA. Being a mom is the best thing I've ever done, so that has to be incorporated into my animal.

Bear? Cliche.

Finally, it dawned on me. What animal would I be? The answer is on my legs. My hairy legs. A Sasquatch! Bigfoot! Absolutely! They're primates, so intelligent, creative, and social. They also manage to avoid people, and I like avoiding people. They go barefoot, and I LOVE going barefoot. And, like other primates, they must be awesome with their kids. I would never have to shave my legs again. I get to live in the woods, which I have always wanted to do. And no more BRAS! Woohoo! The Sasquatch life is definitely for me. Besides, who has ever heard of a Sasquatch having their gallbladder removed?